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“It turns out that the ability to step into the world on our own often stems from the knowledge that there is someone beside us whom we can count on – this is the dependency paradox.” -Amir Levine & Rachel Heller in “Attached” The book “Attached.” by Levine and Heller does an incredible job of […]
Was looking back at some photos of the first few days after baby Jericho came home and met his big brother Jack . . . We are all made for secure attachment.
As little ones we are designed to have a cry that PULLS our caregivers to us! It is called the “attachment cry” and was identified by researcher Jaak Panksepp as linked to the affective system of panic. The first time I heard this, I was fascinated, panic is actually the cry and reaching for someone!! […]
“Ever so quietly, I walked around with the loudest heartbreak and I wondered how passers-by could not hear the bombs dropping; could not hear thunder; did not notice the catastrophe.” – Choë Frayne There are some of us so good, so practiced, so skilled at holding all the pain inside – that no one can […]
“Be the woman you needed as a girl.” – Unknown Be the adult we needed as a child. Yes, of course to the children in our lives. But, also to the little ones, our younger selves, that are still inside of us – locked in the perception that it is still the past, not yet […]
“You own everything that happened to you. Tell your stories. If people wanted you to write warmly about them, they should have behaved better.” – Anne Lamott We, as little humans, are entirely dependent on our caregivers to stay alive and will instinctively adapt in order maintain attachment in whatever way is possible. Idealization occurs […]
“You are fierce. You’re a survivor. You’re a fighter through and through. Little brave, breathe. There is a warrior within you.” – Beau Taplin in “Lest We Forget” Learning to look at the little one – the younger self that went through whatever they did – with loving eyes is such a crucial part of […]
“You are worn and cracked and dented. And that is okay, because I have never heard of a clean and shiny sword that won a war.” – Erin Van Vuren Don’t give up fighting, dear Lionhearts. We have what we need – we ARE what we need – to win the battle each of us […]
“Courage is a heart word. Be brave. Love hard.” – Brené Brown I love these words by Brene’ Brown and this wonderful Lionheart image from her team @themarblejar. It is SO challenging to live this way when we grow up without the consistent nurture, protection, and guidance of secure attachment! We often gravitate toward relationships […]
So much of what we do in my household involves the buddy system!! Jericho has been going with Sophie to her acupuncture appointments for a while now (the acupuncture works miracles for Soph’s hips and back – and their vet is wonderful and welcomes the bengals coming to increase their socialization and learn the vet […]
