“The intensity of memories. Sometimes a comfort. Other times a torture.” -Lily B.
Days like today – when kids kill kids – bring such an immense sadness.
I can’t help but see the scene through the eyes of a trauma therapist – and see how pain begets pain.
Now, I can anticipate the angry comments (because they predictably will come), that seeing the perpetrators of horror as victims themselves is completely unacceptable.
I agree that the moment they choose darkness – the moment they take that step into becoming the demon rather than facing their demons – they earn whatever comes next for them.
Yet we lose our way, I think, in understanding how to unravel the complexities of what brings us to this point, if we ignore that human demons are not born – they are created – created through the hollow pain of unmet needs and tortured memories of rejection and abuse.
I chose this quote to post today because it captures what the parents and loved ones of those killed today are left with – only memories. And sometimes they will bring comfort – but for a long, long time they will bring unimaginable pain.
I chose this quote also because memories are our way in, I believe. An inroad to the root – the seed even – of what becomes a day like today.
My experience with working with severely traumatized people – is that these urges to become all-powerful, avenging, and wholly, horribly visible – are so often born from memories of having no control, having no recourse for justice, and no sense of being seen or meaning anything to anyone.