“It is impossible for you to go on as you were before, so you must go on as you never have.” -Cheryl Strayed
So often the question comes up in my office – “Why am I falling apart now?! I was holding it together for so long and through so much!!” 
My answer – my theory – is that we all have a threshold – a sort of expiration date – at which point our old methods of coping are overwhelmed.
When young, we adapt to painful circumstances using whatever method will allow us to survive.
Not yet having the knowledge, power, and resources of an adult, we utilize any method we can to get through – be safe – feel loved.
We may have learned to freeze and be silent – or drown out our emotions with alcohol or food or some other compulsion – or rage and lash out – or placate – or isolate.
Or we may have learned to squash down the feelings – push away the memories – find solace, security or worth through dogged focus on performance and perfection.
Whatever they may be, we grow accustomed to these adaptions – and like deep wagon wheel ruts – we slip into these responses despite recognizing they no longer work the way they once did or even that they now cause more harm to us than good.
At a certain point, I believe we must either choose to address the trauma head on – and allow our nervous systems to learn it is safe to forge a new path – or essentially allow our wheels to spin us deeper and deeper, to the point that we drown in the mud of our old coping mechanisms.
It is hard work and takes great courage loosen the grip of the mud and start a new trajectory, but it is possible, as the author writes, to be able to go on in a way we never have – a way perhaps we have never even imagined was possible for us!! 
I’d love to hear your thoughts and experience with this!
#newpath #healing #trauma #emdr #emdrreadinesscourse
If you haven’t yet, I invite you to join me for the first Module of The EMDR Readiness Course (for free!) – to learn about how EMDR therapy provided by a well-trained, careful practitioner can be modified to treat complex/developmental trauma. The link above
.
The full course is designed to be a source of knowledge – a precursor or adjunct to treatment – to help insure there is what needs to be in place before trauma memory processing can begin safety and effectively.