“When you are not fed love on a silver spoon you learn to lick it off knives.” -Lauren Eden
It is heartbreaking how often I meet with clients whose current relationships are marked by fear, loneliness, insecurity – and then as we trace their history back to the beginning we see one iteration after another of the same.
So often the quality of our relationships as adults is shaped by our early attachment dynamics in childhood.
When our earliest relationships weren’t protective or nurturing, it becomes hard to believe we are lovable and deserving of respect and security in our adult relationships – despite “knowing better” and making concerted effort to choose differently.
And it doesn’t take a “silver spoon” early attachment experience for us to be off to a solid start – it just has to be a decent spoon – or “good enough parenting” as the research puts it – to launch us into healthy, secure relationship patterns.
Otherwise, driven by an innate hunger for love and attachment – and blinded to our worth by experiences that have distorted our perception – our nervous systems cause us to be drawn toward that which we have learned to expect – that being loved comes with being hurt and that love is so scarce for us that we must take whatever crumbs we can get at whatever cost. 
I have seen these patterns be transformed – that we can become sure of our worth and better able to choose secure relationships – through EMDR therapy modified to treat developmental trauma and repair the attachment system!
#lovedoesnthurt #attachment #complexptsd #developmentaltrauma
#emdr #emdrreadinesscourse
Thank you to Lauren Eden for these powerful words!
The work with Attachment Repair is my favorite – and perhaps the most profound – part of the EMDR Readiness Course!
My open invitation stands for you to join me for the first Module of The EMDR Readiness Course (for free!) – to learn about how EMDR therapy provided by a well-trained, careful practitioner can be modified to treat complex/developmental trauma. The link is above
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The full course is designed to be a source of knowledge – a precursor or adjunct to treatment – to help insure there is what needs to be in place before trauma memory processing can begin safety and effectively. 